Going to the movies is fucking pointless.
You wanna know why?
I'll tell you why. It's mainly because of all the fucking morons who you have to watch the movie with. The movie-watching experience has always included dipshits and inconsiderate assholes, but now it's almost unbearable to even attempt to sit through a movie at your local cinema because of the popularity of the most annoying piece of shit technology ever invented...the fucking iPhone.
Goddamn you iPhone people.
Listen, you only get until the previews start to play with your phone. That's it! Once the previews start, you're done. Put your piece of shit phone away before I jam it into your windpipe.
Why do you even have your phone out? You're here at the movies with your friends! Why don't you talk to the people you're out with instead of basically telling them, "You're dogshit. I'm going to ignore you and check my phone to see if I got a message from someone more important!" How rude and inconsiderate are you people? Exist in the present moment with live human beings...or have we lost that ability as a species?
Then you've got these inconsiderate butt plugs who have to keep opening their phone to check the time or God knows what they're fucking doing. So you're watching the movie, getting into it, when all of a sudden A BRIGHT, BLUE LIGHT ERUPTS TO YOUR LEFT! And you think, "Shit! Aliens have come to abduct me...oh wait...it's just some inconsiderate prick checking their phone. And there's another...and another...and another..."
What the fuck are you doing?! The movie will end when it fucking ends! Or here's an idea: BUY A FUCKING WATCH, TECHNO-FUCK! If you can pay $500 for a cell phone, I'm sure you can dish out a 20 for a cheap watch. Seriously people, can we please employ stupidity police to wander our cities beating the shit out of people who lack the common sense and courtesy to take their fellow human beings into consideration?
Here's the bottom line: A trip to the movies is an escape. For two hours, that movie is supposed to transport you to another world. How are you supposed to get lost in that world if you're anchored to the real world by your goddamn cell phone?
You wanna know why?
I'll tell you why. It's mainly because of all the fucking morons who you have to watch the movie with. The movie-watching experience has always included dipshits and inconsiderate assholes, but now it's almost unbearable to even attempt to sit through a movie at your local cinema because of the popularity of the most annoying piece of shit technology ever invented...the fucking iPhone.
Goddamn you iPhone people.
Listen, you only get until the previews start to play with your phone. That's it! Once the previews start, you're done. Put your piece of shit phone away before I jam it into your windpipe.
Why do you even have your phone out? You're here at the movies with your friends! Why don't you talk to the people you're out with instead of basically telling them, "You're dogshit. I'm going to ignore you and check my phone to see if I got a message from someone more important!" How rude and inconsiderate are you people? Exist in the present moment with live human beings...or have we lost that ability as a species?
Then you've got these inconsiderate butt plugs who have to keep opening their phone to check the time or God knows what they're fucking doing. So you're watching the movie, getting into it, when all of a sudden A BRIGHT, BLUE LIGHT ERUPTS TO YOUR LEFT! And you think, "Shit! Aliens have come to abduct me...oh wait...it's just some inconsiderate prick checking their phone. And there's another...and another...and another..."
What the fuck are you doing?! The movie will end when it fucking ends! Or here's an idea: BUY A FUCKING WATCH, TECHNO-FUCK! If you can pay $500 for a cell phone, I'm sure you can dish out a 20 for a cheap watch. Seriously people, can we please employ stupidity police to wander our cities beating the shit out of people who lack the common sense and courtesy to take their fellow human beings into consideration?
Here's the bottom line: A trip to the movies is an escape. For two hours, that movie is supposed to transport you to another world. How are you supposed to get lost in that world if you're anchored to the real world by your goddamn cell phone?
Dumbed Down Version: Leave your phones in the car when you're going to the movies if you're too addicted to your phone to leave it alone for two hours, you weak-minded piece of shit.
