Shut the Fuck Up and Work!

I think there are a lot of people who are confused out there. Let me clear something up for you: The purpose of work...is to DO WORK. It's not to chit-chat. It's not to share your life story with me. Shut the fuck up and do whatever it is that you're being paid to do. If we're co-workers, that just means I'm getting paid to do the same thing next to you. It doesn't mean I have to listen to you or like you or even acknowledge that you fucking exist.

The work ethic in this country is fucking pathetic. No one treats work with any respect anymore. You should have two selves: a work you and a home you. When you go to work, put your game face on. You should not be the same person at work as you are at home, I don't care what your fucking high school guidance counselor told you about being yourself. At work, be a better version of you.

I just can't believe the things people who I just met AT WORK are willing to share after knowing me for a grand total of three days. I don't want to hear about your recent surgery. I don't want to hear about your kids or your recent divorce or how your first husband left you because you think he's gay but then he went swimming in a quarry and hit his head and drowned. I should not know more about your life than I know about my own fucking family members. Notice that I haven't said anything to you other than my first name? Well, follow that example and that's exactly how much I want to know about you personally.

And while we're on the subject, don't bitch that your boss isn't personable. I don't want my boss to be personable. I want my boss to stay out of my face and locked in his office playing solitaire on his computer. I don't want to tell him about my vacation, I don't want to tell him about what I did last night, I don't want to tell him anything. He's my boss, not my friend.

Are we really such weak-minded individuals that we can't tell the difference anymore? Not everyone has to like you. Some of us just have to work with you...SO SHUT UP!

Dumbed Down Version: Work is for work. Not work is for bullshitting. Know the difference.