Fuck God...Let's Worship Celebrities!

People who worship celebrities are assholes.

If this Michael Jackson circus has proven anything, it has provided undeniable proof that our country's obsession with celebrities is beyond out of control. An entertainer died, which, in the overall scheme of things is barely a pimple on the ass of History, and our country's top news organizations completely shut down and dedicate every single second of their coverage to the death of this walking freakshow.

FUCK YOU, oppressed people of Iran! MJ is dead!

FUCK YOU, citizens of planet Earth! Who gives a shit what the leaders of the most powerful countries on the planet have to say at the G8 convention?! The King of Pop has fallen!

FUCK YOU, soldiers who will be invading North Korea in the near future! Kim Jong Il can't moonwalk so he doesn't matter!

Now, some people will argue that it's not the media's fault. They're just showing what the American people want to see. This is true. America is full of morons. The ancient Greeks had their gods of Mount Olympus. We have our celebrities of the Hollywood hills.

But just because a majority of people are celebrity-worshipping dipshits doesn't mean you have to cater to their insatiable appetites for celebrity bullshit. If you're the father of a retarded five-year old and he wants to watch a triple-penetration porno instead of Sesame Street, should you let him watch that just because that's what he wants? No. As the responsible parent who knows what's best for your retard child, you should stand your ground and not give in to what's "popular."

The media has a responsibility to maintain the dignity and credibility of the news. Showing 24/7 coverage of MJ's death destroys that credibility and turns a respected news outlet into TMZ. If you plaster celebrities over the news, stupid people will think these self-centered assholes are more important than they really are. Let's knock these spotlight-obsessed megalomaniacs out of the clouds and bring them back down to earth.

Dumbed Down Version: If you think Kim Kardashian is more important than Kim Jong Il, you're a fucking moron.