The Most Annoying Songs of Summer 2009 (Part II)

#2: "Boom Boom Pow" by The Black Eyed Peas

"Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas is the most overplayed piece of shit...ever. I hate this song so much that, instead of including a picture of the band, I've instead displayed a picture of a bunch of actual black-eyed peas. Take that, Fergie!

Seriously, though, "Boom Boom Pow" isn't really any worse than any other repetitive pop song, but it is so goddamn overplayed that it overshadows any of those other songs and transcends the boundary separating songs I would wipe my ass with and songs I would use to plug Oprah's asshole after an all-you-can-eat rib buffet during her heavy flow period day. That's right; "Boom Boom Pow" belongs in Oprah's anal crevice.

This song is literally every third song on the radio (usually played between 3oh!3's "Don't Trust Me" and The Black Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling"). Here's an actual transcript from an anonymous radio station:

"That was The Black Eyed Peas with "Boom Boom Pow." Now we have to play 37 minutes of commercials, but when we get back we'll hit you up with some "Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas."

See? They're just playing this shit too much. After listening to the radio at work for a few weeks, I've realized the formula for writing a successful pop song:

Step One: Write a song that is nothing but four minutes of chorus.

Step Two: Make sure the song is played on the radio 678 times a day until it drills its way into the listeners' cerebral cortex, forcing listeners to forget the name of their state senators but ensuring they'll be humming your song for weeks.

Step Three: Jerk off with hundred dollar bills wrapped around your cock.

And it's that simple. Radio stations, please, for the love of Buddha, please stop playing this song...I just can't take it anymore...

Dumbed Down Version: I'm so 3000 and 8. You're so 2000 and late...